


By her side

by thespookyfiles



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Episode: s08e13 Per Manum, F/M, Loss, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-18 23:47:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14862621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thespookyfiles/pseuds/thespookyfiles
Summary: A Per Manum fic, inspired by the moment in which Scully looks at her sonogram and looks at her in her mirror, caressing her belly.





	By her side

Eleven weeks had already passed. Eleven weeks from that day when it all changed, when the miracle became reality. When the union of perfect opposites made it possible, even though there was no chance. That's what love did, with its power. 

She had always wanted to be a mother, God only knew how hard she fought to make that dream come true, and now that it finally happened, she still felt incomplete. She loved her little creature growing inside her with all of her being, since the moment she knew she was pregnant.  
But it was not fair. This was supposed to be a joy, their joy, and she almost felt guilty to be happy, when the person she trusted the most, her partner, her lover, was missing. 

She cried every night in the dark and the loneliness of her bedroom, desperately wanting to feel his body spooned behind her, holding her in his arms, whispering loving words in her ear. She already lost count of the times she imagined him to be with her, in order to sleep a few hours, before a wave of nausea forced her to run into the bathroom.

And now, there she was, after her first sonogram, seeing her baby for the first time in that picture. It was so small, but now it was only a matter of time before it started to show, and at that point she coudn't hide it anymore.  
She put a hand on her belly, softly caressing it, and she immediately felt her eyes filling with tears. Looking down at her hand, she felt warmer, and she noticed two hands on hers.

Two arms were embracing her from behind, and when she looked in the mirror, she couldn't believe what she was seeing: Mulder was there.

A whisper escaped from her mouth, her voice broken from tears, calling his name, and all she received was a tighter hug and an overwhelming feeling.

\- “I told you not to give up on a miracle, and you didn't. We did it, can you believe it?” - he whispered in a lower voice in her ear, that voice that she loved so much, that recently had said to her so many words of love in that same way.  
Then, he kissed her neck with a tenderness only him was capable of, and in that moment she couldn't say exactly whether she was weeping with joy or smiling for what was happening.

Watching them in that mirror, with both their hands on her belly was the most perfect thing she had always seen: they were one, melted in that embrace she wished it could never end.  
She closed her eyes, smelling his cologne, allowing herself to be cradled in his arms. It was an indescribable feeling, something that she had been able to feel only with him. That's what pure love feels like, she thought, and she couldn't believe that she was experiencing it.

She wanted to kiss him, to show him that she loved him so much that it hurt so bad when he was missing: now it was all she wanted, there was time for explanations.

But then, opening her eyes while turning to face him, she saw there was nobody else in the room. How could have been possible?

\- "Mulder??? Mulder, please, where are you?"

No answer. The only thing she heard was her heart beating so fast that she had to sit on the bed. Tears started to fall from her eyes again, and she suffocated her cry in a pillow, something that had happened often since almost three months. 

Why was it happening to her?  
Why did she get the chance to have a child after years of desire only now that she was alone?  
Why wasn't she allowed to share this joy with the love of her life?  
How many times she thought that? This was just unbearable.

But the truth was she wasn't completely alone: he was always with her. He had made her a gift, the most beautiful gift he could ever give to her, and she had to be strong. She had to find him, he had to know that now it wasn't just the two of them, that this was their chance, their miracle.  
It was so painfully hard, but she couldn't give up.  
She had to fight with all her power, with all the strength she had, believing, like he had always taught her.  
For their miracle, for their love.


End file.
